Friday, April 3, 2009

FRIDAY FUNNIES...how to operate the ATM

I have had an intense week and I really need to end the week with humor. Is that ok? So this week, I am linking up with Friday Funnies!
My husband recently shared this with me. It is the golden rules for how to operate the ATM machine:

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE &FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and Withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.


Ok ladies, as funny as that may sound ... I wonder how many of those female procedures you actually do at your local ATM! My family insists that I do the majority of them.

KIM is our Friday Funnies host, please visit her HERE to find more laughs!

10 comments:

SophieMae said...

Oh, that was TOO funny! I can probably relate to one or two of those, lol! ;} Thanks ever so for merrying my heart today!

Have a JESUS-filled day! ^i^

The Real Me! said...

OH that was classic! I love the drive for 2 or 3 miles and THEN release the parking brake! LOL.
I'm with you as well. I seem to always need a good laugh by the end of the week. Thanks for joining in today.
Hugs.
Kim

Just Be Real said...

Laurie, that is too funny. Appreciate it. Thank you. Blessinsg.

Saleslady371 said...

Hi, Laurie:
This is really funny and we better laugh at ourselves for being women! Sorry your week was so stressed. Thanks for visiting me yesterday and taking the time to leave such a nice comment; how nice of you to link up with everybody. May the Lord bless you big today!

Carla said...

LOL! Most applies to myself, and sometimes, just for fun, I get too close and have to readjust the fold-able side mirror! Have a great weekend:)

Marsha said...

Oh my! Guilty as charged!

Jennifer said...

Oh my goodness...that was a great one!!!

However, I am the male in this situation and a few other ones too! I don't stop and ask for directions because I think I can figure it out where Roger stops immediately when he even remotely thinks he is going wrong. I love power tools and got so excited last night because Roger let me buy myself a new sander...a Black and Decker Cyclonic Action Mouse Sander!!! I burned my last one up using it so much! LOL! Ok, I know that I am weird!

Have a great weekend!

((hugs)) and lots of love,
Jenn

Mel said...

very cute!!

LaVonne said...

Too funny! But thankfully that is not me :)

Thanks for stopping by my blog to comment. I love comments. Come by again anytime!

Melanie said...

LOL... I don't do all of them, but I must admit to a few! ;)