Tuesday, October 21, 2008

FALLING FOR JESUS...change of colors

Change of seasons
Change of colors

Everything seems...
so crisp
so new
so vibrant

The recent falling of leaves reminds me of a time when the colors of fall did not seem so bright to me. In fact, they appeared dull and almost empty.

It was a time in my life, several years ago, that I am not proud of. However, I remember it because of the defining change that occurred in my life.

I am not sure how it happened?

~From the sudden illness I had encountered?
~From the side effects of the medicine?
~Was it just one of those things that we label as “unbalance”.

Whatever the cause ~ the result was depression.

I realize what you may be thinking. “Laurie, you are a Pastor’s wife!” Yes, I know and possibly that is the reason it totally took me by surprise! If the truth were told, I was in a very low place and I did not like it!

How did I get here?
More importantly, how do I get OUT of here?

Depression is like a thief
-it will sneak up on you
-it comes to steal and rob
-it is not satisfied until every ounce is drained

This is exactly how I felt. I did not want to be around people. It took every ounce of strength to be awake. I had no desire to do anything for anybody! The colors were all so faded! I just wanted to curl up and die.

That may have been the plan all along. The enemies’ plan - that is. Thank goodness there was a plan put into motion that was so much bigger and so much better.

  • a plan to pull me up out of the miry clay.
  • a plan to set my feet on solid ground.
  • a plan that proved that no matter what...God was not going to leave me nor forsake me!
  • God had a plan! It just took me a little while to see it, to grasp it, to believe it.
I began to believe there was MORE for me than to stay in this state of depression. I just knew that there was joy in the morning. There was joy in the Lord! The hold that this feeling had on me was at times so strong. I just did not have the strength to overcome it.

JOHN 16:20 (nkjv) "Most assuredly, I say to you that you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice, and you will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will be turned into joy."
WITH DETERMINATION, I said “the joy is mine!”, “the healing is mine”, “this is the day that is mine” and then I heard it. A song was playing on the radio. I knew this song from a long time ago. “Give it up” by the Imperials.

"Just Give it up. Give it up. Give it up to Jesus."

I stood and lifted my weak hands up to the Lord. Right there, right at that moment. I surrendered and GAVE IT ALL UP to Jesus. It was like a gentle breeze had swept over my spirit that day. Suddenly, the colors that appeared dull to me now were once again bright and vibrant.

God had given back to me what was stolen. He changed my season, He changed my colors.

PSALM 51:10 (nkjv)"Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me."

What color is your season?
What causes your colors to seem faded?

Sadness ~ loneliness ~ emptiness ~ loss of a loved one
~ empty nest ~ infertility ~ fear

Why not GIVE IT UP to Jesus.

Go ahead, give it up today and FALL FOR JESUS COMPLETELY!

ISAIAH 64:8 (nkjv)"But now, O Lord, You are our Father; We are the clay, and You our potter; and all we are the work of Your hand."


This is a submission to a writing contest.

But I would be amiss if I did not offer assistance to anyone who may read this that is struggling with depression. Depression is very real in many women. You do not have to go thru depression alone. If you need someone to talk to, please seek godly counsel from a Christian Counselor or your local Pastor. God is your almighty healer, and He has put people in your path that will help guide you to finding the bright colors of life once again. Please seek help.


Melanie said...

A great post, Laurie, and so encouraging to anyone that has suffered or is suffering with depression.

Laurie Ann said...

As someone who has battled depression since the age of 9 (mine is now under control with medication), I can tell that your post is awesome and full of so much wisdom and truth. Such an encouraging post and submission to the writing contest. God bless you, Laurie, for sharing your honest heart!

Debra said...


What a beautiful post. How encouraging and such a great truth you have spoken!

I am so blessed that you have reclaimed the beautiful colors that God has given you! To Him be all the glory for the great things He has done and will continue to do!

Hugs & blessings to you today, sweet sis!

Jessica Smith said...

It is true, depression strikes anyone and is not a picker thing. Even though you are a pastor's wife, it does not mean that you are super woman either. God is faithful. Thank you for being so open and honest.

eph2810 said...

What an encouraging post, Laurie. Yes, sometimes the world around us can seem very dull, colorless. I have to agree with you, the enemy likes to steal and rob us of our job, but Jesus stand with His hands wide open to give us comfort, peace and joy.

Blessings to you and yours.

Treasure Seeker said...

as always- good stuff!

love it!

Nancie said...

Hi Laurie,

I too battled with a chronic medical condition that makes me more prone to clinical depression. Like Laurie Ann, I am also under medical help and other helps. Thank God that He has made available means to deliver us.

Thank God for delivering you! Thanks for your openness in sharing with us. May God bless you always.

Take care,