Tuesday, January 27, 2015

How can we raise godly daughters in a sexually sinful world?

I’m about to embark on a topic that is seldom written about, but yet is inundated within our society today, and it is stealing our children right from under our noses, especially our daughters!

I want to address the question, “How can we raise godly daughters in a sexually sinful world?” Even though, the sin twisted mind of society is attacking our sons too, I want to specifically address the dangers of our daughters growing up in a sexually minded generation. (I may address our sons in another sitting).

As a mother of a 19 year old daughter and a Pastors Wife that has worked with teen agers for many years, I can assure you, our teens of today have sexual immorality in their face DAILY! They can’t escape it, it can be found on the television sitcoms, it is on the movie screens, it is sung about on the radio and it is all up and down your teens school hallway and on their social media!

Teen sexuality is no longer a topic that we can sweep under the rug and not talk about. Last year a survey was conducted among U.S. high school students:

  • nearly 50% surveyed had already been sexually active.
  • 34% of those had been active within the past 3 months.
  • and 40% of those being active sexually did not use protection the last time they had sex.
  • 15% of those surveyed have had sexual intercourse with 4 or more partners already.

As a mother of a teen girl, these statistics are heart wrenching. The statistics of the consequences of such behavior is just as startling…

  • An estimated 8,300 young people between the ages of 13-24 have reported to be HIV positive in the previous year. (in the U.S.)
  • Nearly half of the 19 million reporting NEW sexually transmitted diseases (STD) are among young people ages 15-24 years old.
  • More than 400,000 teen girls aged 15-19 years old gave birth last year.

With numbers like these, (that are steadily going up), it is no longer acceptable to hand our daughters a pamphlet and hope for the best. We must get in their world, get in their face and tell them the dangers of living in a sexually immoral world.

It use to be that we could protect our girls from the dangers of sexual sin by keeping them under lock and key. Monitoring who she spends time with and only allowing friends to come over when you or an adult were present. That is not enough anymore! Because as soon as you walk out of the room or send her to her bedroom, the allure and temptation of teen sexuality is at her fingertips, it is called her “smartphone”. Technology has made it easy for our daughters to become victims of sexual sins:

SEXTING… if your daughter has a smart phone with a camera, she has the ability to send provocative pictures of herself to others, usually boys and sometimes grown men. And males can send her naked pictures of themselves as well, all without your approval or knowledge. Sending sexually explicit pictures via your phone is called “sexting” and about 40% of today’s teens have sent sexually suggestive messages to others. Statistics show that 17% of those whom receive a sexting message will share it with others, and 55% of those will share it with more than one person. Sexting is no longer a topic that parents can ignore. Our daughters are being exploited right under our noses!

SNAPCHAT…If your daughter is taking a lot of “selfies”, no doubt she has a SNAPCHAT account. Snapchat is a social media trend that allows you to share a picture with someone for just a few seconds and then it disappears. Sending funny faces is not all that this is used for. Teens are sending naked pictures to one another with the thought that it can only be viewed for a few seconds. Our daughters may be pulled into the thrill of this, to send a sexy picture of herself, so to feel accepted or wanted. However, 3 dangers of this that she may not be aware of...
 #1. The sensual pictures that she snaps to a boy is a turn on to him, it starts his engine and he will come back for more. The wrong message sent will in turn have porn links sent to your daughter. (I personally know “church” boys who have done this)
#2. The sexy picture your daughter has sent may only be viewed for a couple seconds, however, the receiver has the ability to do a “screenshot”, which then saves the picture on their phone or computer.
#3. Snapshot administrators have the right to any of your pictures, even though the picture disappears after a few seconds, they have it in their master file. *Nothing shared on the web is private, keep that in mind.

Some snapchat stats to consider:

  • 400 million snaps are sent a day.
  • 2% of all college students use snapchat to specifically send “sexts”.
  • 4.6 million snapshot users had their personal info leaked to the internet in 2014.

OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA…” Sexting” and “Snapchat” is just a couple ways that the immoral sexual society is snagging our daughters. Your daughters are also being bullied and manipulated on other social media such as Facebook, Twitter, Scout, Tinder, Vine, Kik and Fling. All of these media’s are pulling our daughters away from the value and respect that God intended for our little girls.

So what can we do?

First of all, we must lead by example. If you want your daughter to dress modestly, you dress modestly. If you don’t want your daughter to watch shows with sexual suggestions, you don’t watch it.

Secondly, we must teach our daughters to have self respect and self worth. She is bombarded with a world that says eat this, wear that, become this, stay away from that. We must teach our girls that it is not about the outer appearance but the inner that counts. God looks at the heart and His approval is the one she needs. Self worth cannot be found in looks, or accomplishment or whom you date, self worth can only be found in Christ!

Thirdly, it is imperative that we offer our daughters an alternative to the world’s view of sexuality. Refute myths about sex with the truth. We, as mothers, must be the primary source of information about sexuality. Offer a lot of accurate information, refute the common myths such as “everyone is doing it”, “it’s not sex if you don’t go all the way” or “it is alright when you love each other”. Don’t be afraid to share the scary statistics and most important, show her what the Bible says about being pure and that God designed sex to be between one man and one woman when they become married. Today’s society has stripped away the beauty that God designed sex to be. We must teach our daughters that God will reward them for being pure with their bodies. God knew the heartache that would come if we would give pieces of our heart away instead of preserving our whole heart for that one that He designed for us.

It is difficult to raise godly daughters in this sinful world, but when we speak up and take a stand, I believe that our godly daughters can change their generations thinking of what is acceptable and what is not.

But, we must first educate them and also educate ourselves.

Training us to renounce ungodliness and wordly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age.’ –Titus 2:12

**If you are concerned about your teen’s activity on her social media or smartphone, there are guardian apps that you can get to monitor her texts, pictures and social media. Check out www.teensafe.com or www.mobile-spy.com .

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