If someone were to ask you,
"Why do you love your mate?" - What would you say?
Most men would probably mention something about their wife's beauty, her sense of humor, her kindness or her inner strength. They might even mention her ability to cook or what a great mother she is. Women would probably say something about her husband's good looks or personality. Most likely they would compliment their man on being steady and for having a consistent character. They might mention how they are always there for them, that they are kind and helpful.
We are all attracted to our mates for various reasons. In fact, last week in the
YOUR OPINION MATTERS POLL, I polled the readers about this very thing. I asked, "
What was the first thing that you fell in love with about your mate." The top 3 responses were:
1. 43% of those voting said that it was their
sense of humor.
2. 37% voted and said they fell in love with their
kindness.
3. And 6% voted and said it was because
they loved God.
Loving God was only 6%? Apparently God was not the attraction, but is God what holds your relationship together now?
What would happen if over the course of years, your mate stopped loving you? Would you still love them? Based on the poll I took, I would say no because it appears that loving our mate has something to do with their qualities and we all know that
"qualities" can quickly fade or disappear.
The only kind of love that will last a lifetime is
unconditional love! Truth be told, love is not determined by the one
being loved but rather by the one
choosing to love.
ROMANS 5:8 "God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
Now this is a kind of love that surpasses everything. God does not love us because we are lovable but He loves us because He
is loving.
If someone says to their mate,
"I have fallen out of love with you" - could it be that they in a sense are saying,
"I never loved you unconditionally to begin with." This kind of love is an example of
phileo or
eros love. There must be a stronger foundation in a relationship than mere friendship or attraction. Unconditional love or
agape love will not be swayed by time or circumstance.
From time to time, we will all fail at this thing we call
"love" but thank God for the encouragement we find in 1 Corinthians -
"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." (13:7) Loving your mate based upon God's plan will take you from
"I love you because..." to
"I love you ...period!"
Unconditional love ... a love that will last a lifetime!