Monday, June 29, 2009


**I am hosting AT THE WELL today **

Today as we gather around the Well, I want to talk about something that has been whispered about for some time now. You probably heard some of the mutterings and saw some of the looks if you would happen to come up to the well with your bucket for water. The ladies gathered there giggled and laughed as they watched you come closer. You never quite felt accepted by all of the women, and one time you overheard the not-so-nice things they were saying.

They not only existed around the well, but they still exist today.Mean girls exist in every city and every state across the country. Every schoolyard is overrun by them, it doesn't matter if it is urban, rural, Christian or public schools. Mean girls can be found on every playground. These girls can be said to be equal to the schoolyard bully, except instead of giving out black eyes, they leave bruised hearts.

Mean girls can cause emotional scars so deep that some girls might want to change schools in order to avoid their cruelty, others will find themselves in some kind of therapy years later to find healing for the emotional damage caused by these mean girls.

If you think dealing with mean girls is something new. You are wrong. They have been present throughout the ages and the Bible is full of stories of mean girls! Most likely, you are reading this post today and you, yourself, were either pegged as a "mean girl" or you were a victim of a mean girl.

In today's culture though, we are seeing girls who are being meaner than ever! Television has a lot to do with this...we have become desensitized and now because of reality shows and talk shows, we no longer resist getting in each others face and criticizing one another. Girls today have a "speak-your-mind," "tell-it-like-it-is" mentality which has taken the meaning of a "mean girl" to a whole new level.

The mean girls of today certainly make the mean girls of my generation seem like Shirley Temple! Today, technology has allowed girls to be vicious, rude, and down right mean. Girls can spread their venom electronically with the click of a mouse through emails, instant messaging, facebook and mypsace.Mean girls are not just a problem with adolescent teens. Mean girls are grown women too. And sometimes mean girls can be found in your own church pew. Christian girls are not exempt from associating with mean girls or even being a mean girl.


  • Mean girls base their worth on being in control and exerting power over others.
  • Mean girls use manipulation or scare tactics.
  • Mean girls do not hesitate to ridicule or make fun of someone.
  • Mean girls look for support from others that will join their team of being mean.
  • Mean girls often express outward meanness to cover up a lack of self confidence or feeling of worth.
LUKE 6:32, 33 "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that."

LUKE 6:35, 36 "But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons (and daughters) of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful."
We must be set apart.
We must be different.

Questions to consider:
What do we do when we come across a mean girl?

As a Titus 2 woman, how can we raise our daughters to not be a mean girl?

Looking back, can you remember a time that you were a victim of a mean girl... how did you overcome?

Looking back, can you remember a time that you WERE a mean girl... what changed you?

If you would like to link up your post today, please go to the AT THE WELL homepage. Find more thoughts on this subject HERE!


Civilla said...

Thank you so much for that. And, I've noticed that the blogosphere is filled with "Christian" mean girls!

Denise said...

Thanks for this awesome post my friend.

Wisdom for Today said...

Great post. I try to keep an eye on all my daughter's acquaintances to make sure we are aware of them before they do any harm. So far, so good!

Jennifer said...

I can't shout AMEN loud enough, Laurie!

You are so right about girls being meaner than we knew when we were in school and the internet is their cowardly way of being nasty without having to say it to someone's face.

You don't have to be a girl or have a daughter to experience the meanest of girls...your son can be on the receiving end as well.

The sad thing is that many of them are in local youth groups and come from faithful Christian families. Many of these families would be so humiliated and upset if they only knew the half of what their children (boys and girls) did to others from making fun, to bullying, to spreading vicious gossip and turning friends against each other.

If you can't tell...this is a very big pet peeve of mine.

Preach it, my friend!!! AMEN, AMEN, AMEN, AMEN!!!

Anonymous said...

I've been on the receiving end before. Not very fun at all! Sometimes I wonder if I am perceived as mean, I don't want to be. But does what I say get misunderstood?