Monday, July 28, 2008

AT THE WELL.... raising boys

We are gathering AT THE WELL today as we pursue to be more like the TITUS 2 WOMAN. Lori @ is our topic host today and she is leading the discussion around THE WELL today about raising boys.

From my heart to yours...
The topic today is one that I can definitely relate to. RAISING SONS. I have 3 sons that are a pure blessing.

Raising sons can be a challenge in today's world. But not impossible!

My 3 sons are grown (ages 25, 23, 18) and they each have their own unique talents, creativity and goals. One thing they all have in common is that they are living for God. Now that is an answer to prayer.

If I could give advice to other Mom's raising sons it would be 3 things...
In today's society it is no secret that a good percentage of our sons are being raised by single moms, or without a father figure in their lives. The Bible clearly says that fathers should be the spiritual leader in their home, but when a godly father is absent (or even absent in body) - this is when the Mom needs to step in and set the example. If at all possible, if a godly father is absent in the relationship, seek out a godly man in your church, or a grandfather, or an uncle who can be the role model that will show integrity, honesty, love for others and most importantly love for God to your son. Children learn by example. They learn by watching. Our sons need to learn how to be a godly man.

As a mom, instruct your son in the ways of the Lord. Live your faith in front of him. Give him a reason to trust God. Instruction is not only for spiritual things, but also instruct those boys how to be a helpmate. Teach them to iron their pants, wash their clothes, bake a pie, sew a button on their shirt. Model to them how to balance a checkbook by not overdrawing your checking account. Teach them to live on a budget by not over charging your credit cards. Teach them to serve others by serving your neighbors.

One of the things that our sons will battle with the most as they begin to grow into men is temptation and living within boundaries. Teens today are faced with so much more than we were when we were teens. The temptation is great for them. The world is screaming at them "if it feels good... do it!"

Learning to resist temptation is a boundary we put in place. Teaching our sons to live within boundaries begins at an early age. Begin instilling boundaries and stick to your guns about them. If a child can learn the boundary principle at an early age it won't be quite as difficult as a teen to try to instill boundaries such as "no girls in the house when nobody else is home" or "no r-rated movies in our home".

If you set boundaries for your within your own boundaries. If you say "no r-rated movies" then refrain from watching r-rated movies yourself. Pretty much "practice what you preach" principle applies here.

I have seen it all with 3 sons. Every excuse has been used. One thing that I have learned is that along the way I have messed up! and along the way my sons have messed up! We are human and no one person is perfect.

Love your son unconditionally. When he makes a mistake or makes a poor choice, love him. Let him know that you will always love him no matter what.

After all isn't that what the love of God does for us?

Even though I am a sinner, my heavenly Father waits with open arms to receive me. That's the kind of mom I want to be - to be waiting with open arms to receive my sons.



Chelsey said...

LOVE your advice on setting boundries. I see this all the time with my younger ones and older ones. They WANT boundries whether they know it or not!

Thank your for sharing your wonderful wisdom today At the Well!

Denise said...

Such powerful, and precious advice. Be blessed.

lori said...

Thank you for coming to The Well today with such have been there and those of us who are going there appreciate so much your words of wisdom!! You have NO idea how much it helps to hear this from someone who has walked this path!!

Your advice was just wonderful...I may just print it out and stick it in my journal for a reminder!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you...
what JOY it must be to see the fruits of your labor, sacrifice and PRAYER!

Jill said...

Thanks for sharing your advice, always great to hear from someone who has been there.

LauraLee Shaw said...

Oh my my my. How much you have to offer the rest of us walking through this season with our sons!!!! Thank you so much for your incredible bullet points of advice. They shot straight to my heart.

Suzanne Eller said...

As a mom of two girls, and one boy, it's such a privilege to encourage them, shape them, love them, and be a mom and now friend to them as they enter adulthood.

Cheri said...

Thanks for these words of advice. Raising boys isn't easy.