Tuesday, February 21, 2012

A PIECE OF MY HEART...dealing with controlling people

I consider myself a very confident and trusting person, I like to be in control of things. Notice I did not say in control of PEOPLE, I said in control of THINGS. For instance, I like to be able to determine my schedule, deciding what is most important to accomplish each day...I have the control of what gets crossed off and what gets bumped to tomorrow.

When driving on the highway, I have the control to either monitor my speed or decide to push the pedal to the medal and risk getting a ticket.

Controlling THINGS is very much different than controlling PEOPLE. When I control the things in my life, that is a purposeful decision. Controlling PEOPLE usually rises up out of something else, I can't imagine what purpose having a controlling spirit could have.

But yet, I see so many people turned that way, having the need to control others. In marriage, in friendships, in church, on the job.

So how can we as Christians deal with these controlling people in our lives?

The first thing that is imperative to do is to recognize that the need to control comes from a place of fear, of weakness, never from strength. People who operate from their strengths never have the need to control.
The second thing is to remember that most controlling people do not even recognize that they are controlling. They do not see what everyone else sees. They put off their weaknesses as strengths.

The third thing is to refuse to allow the control and manipulation of others to define you.

Romans 8:6 "The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace." (NIV)

We cannot always control what others do or say, but we can control how we react to them or our situation. I haven't always responded in the way that God would have me respond. But instead of making myself go crazy because of someones manipulative ways in my life, I have to surrender it to God and allow His Holy Spirit to work not only in me but also on that person who has a controlling spirit.

May you experience Romans 8:6 fully and allow your mind to be controlled by the Spirit and not by man. God is who defines you, and nobody can take that from you...unless you choose to let them.

And this has been a piece of my heart today;

1 comment:

Denise said...

You are so wise my friend.