AT THE WELL...marriage - building up your spouse

Today, I am joining my friends over AT THE WELL, as we pursue to be Titus 2 women. I hope you will also join in on the discussion over there. Today CINDY is our discussion leader. Cindy has led us in a great topic this week, "MARRIAGE - BUILDING UP YOUR SPOUSE".

FROM MY HEART TO YOURS AT THE WELL....

STICKS & STONES

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

Most of us remember this childhood saying as a rebuke against name-calling bullies. It seemed to work at that time, but in reality, the saying is wrong. Words can and do inflict more pain than the biggest stick or the heaviest stone could ever cause. Cursing, mocking, blaming, insulting…we all know that this simple method of just saying a few well chosen words can manipulate and hurt people in ways we can't even imagine, especially those closest to us.

Words do hurt us...what we say, how we say it, what we mean by it, it all affects us and other people. Words have energy and power. Words can heal or maim; comfort or kill.

So how can we make sure that our words spoken to our spouse are those of encouragement? lifting up? And not tearing down?

C o n t r o l

y o u r

t o n g u e!

There is a couple that my husband and I are friends with. I enjoy spending time with the wife; shopping, going out for lunch and hanging out. My husband likes spending time with the husband; meeting for lunch or coffee in the morning. When the four of us get together, it always seems to be a bit awkward. The conversation that goes on between these married friends is not always uplifting. It starts out in a joking matter, but the comments usually take a twist to the point that we are not sure where the joke ends and the hurt begins. The put downs. The "I told you so's". The comparison to someone else. Have you ever been in a situation where the words of discord and discontent makes you feel uncomfortable. No matter how much you try to encourage and lift up..you feel like you have failed miserably.

HOW CAN I SHOW MY FRIENDS THAT THEIR

WORDS ARE HURTING EACH OTHER?

One of the best things I can do for our friends is lead by example

I need to make sure the words I speak TO my husband are uplifting and encouraging. And even beyond what I speak to him, what do I say ABOUT him? When I am having lunch with my girlfriend, do I speak ill of my husband or do I compliment him.

From time to time we all need a "girlfriend" that we girls can confide in and share our inner feelings. But can I alert you to the dangers of destruction that our words can do to our spouse, even in his absence. The negative words that we leave with our "confidants" will long linger even after we have found forgiveness with our mate.

CONTROLLING OUR TONGUE takes practice! At a young age, we practiced forming sounds and syllables and with 'practice' we mastered this thing we call SPEECH. The control of our tongue is something we need to practice.

WHY NOT PRACTICE PRAISE AND

ENCOURAGEMENT THIS WEEK...

START WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Prov. 21:23

“Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles”

Eph. 4:29

“ Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”

STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES,

BUT WORDS WILL DEFINITELY HURT ME (and MY MATE)

As I pursue to be more of a Titus 2 woman, I pray this prayer over the words I use when I speak to or speak of my mate...that every thing I say will be uplifting, encouraging and pleasing. That no corrupt word will come out of my mouth that would cause hurt and pain to him or anyone that may hear.

"Lord, help me to speak LIFE into my husband and not be one who

throws sticks and stones. Help me to give honor to the man You gave to me!"

Why not join me over AT THE WELL and see what the other ladies are saying about this subject. FIND MORE HERE!